Saito: Do you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone
Hi. It’s me, your friendly anonymous gingerbread girl. I’d like to impart some of the wisdom I’ve amassed over the years. I don’t purport to have the key to happiness or have the answers to life’s big mysteries—it’s actually the opposite. Much to the chagrin of more practical-minded people, I’m always asking the big questions like “why are we here?” and “what’s the point?” I’m forever searching for meaning and purpose, and it hasn’t been easy. But I have learned a few things while existing with my head in the clouds. I’d like to share some of those things with you, my crumbs of wisdom:
1. Make mistakes. It’s okay to make mistakes, this is how we learn. None of us are born with this innate sense of how to “do things right.” Oftentimes people won’t even try something new because they’re afraid of making a mistake. I say just do it, jump right in, and give it your all.
The hardest part is getting over the fear that you’ll screw up, but who cares if you do? I find it really refreshing to hear people talking honestly and openly about mistakes they’ve made—we’re all human. The jig is up, no one is perfect, or even near perfect. That’s what makes people interesting. Show me your flaws, and I’ll show you mine.
2. Check your expectations. I’ve noticed that everyone’s personality quirks seem to stem from some sort of expectation and judgment—of themselves and others. I’m not saying that I don’t have expectations of others or judge others, but I find I’m happiest when I catch myself doing it, and check it. If I can understand why someone chooses to act a certain way, then I’m ok with them, and their actions. It’s their prerogative. Everyone is fighting their own battles and have a well of their own issues and motives driving them. And most of the time, if you get so upset with someone, chances are the thing that upsets you is something you dislike about yourself.
3. Forgive yourself. This ties in with #1. You’re allowed to make mistakes. Don’t be so hard on yourself. All that matters is that you’re learning and growing.
4. Be true to yourself. This is paramount. I’ve lived most of my life doing things to please other people, and denying the best parts about myself because it wasn’t as valuable in their eyes. But fuck it, I’m now at a crossroads where I have to make a choice—please others and be miserable, or just accept and be myself and likely find true happiness. Sometimes you have to disappoint and let other people down in order to really follow your heart, but the resentment and unhappiness you’ll feel if you don’t will sting much more than that uncomfortable period you’ll feel when you put your foot down and quit trying to conform.
5. Take chances in love. So many people I know (myself included) have become conditioned to hide their true feelings, especially when it comes to expressing love and affection. It takes guts to be the first to say “I love you,” or look past the bullshit excuses and insecurity you might spew when you realize that a person could shatter your heart and you get scared. We hide the best parts of ourselves to protect ourselves, or go on the offense and sabotage things because they must be too good to be true, right? I believe our generation can learn to love better. Love openly and earnestly, it’s always always always worth it. If you get your heart broken, it will heal, you’ll learn from it. We as humans never run out of love.
It’s disheartening to see so many divorces these days, what happens to love? Do people just stop communicating and understanding one another? Stop playing on the same team and end up playing the blame game?
In my field of work, I see people investing hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars to pass blame back and forth onto one another. I’m fully aware that I’m an idealist, but this is not the way. People lie and spin truths in order to gain some power—all for what? Where’s the love? Forgiveness?
Anyways. Thanks for indulging me. Now go get to living, we only have this one shot!
-get rid of my grafts
-lay the groundwork for starting my own business
-fly to L.A or N.Y. and attend Mario Dedianovic’s workshop
-take a crazy cooking class (maybe in Thailand?)
-fall in love
-do an oil painting
-do a tropical/beach vacation with my bff
-dabble in creative writing
-learn to drive stick
-get into an A5 or is250